Heartbreak Healer Soda — Founding Run
The First Cans
non-alcoholic botanical soda — floral, citrusy, low sugar. zero proof, all ritual.
botanical soda. pleasure with purpose.
the heartbreak healer you’ve been making by hand — rose, lavender, lemon balm, reishi — sealed in a can for the first time ever. it tastes like coming back different.
zero alcohol · real botanicals · low sugar · made by hand
sixty seats claimed · the first chapter is sealed
what you’re actually drinking
a small-batch botanical soda — floral lavender meets bright citrus, built on real botanicals (rose, lavender, lemon balm). no artificial anything. zero alcohol. a soda with a soul: not a hard seltzer, not a watered-down mocktail — something you actually want to hold, in a can worth keeping.
what people say about heartbreak healer
“refreshing, and light — none of that stevia aftertaste.” — Angela M.
“just the right amount of intriguing flavor without being too sweet.” — Moonage D.
“as an ex-drinker, i still want to reward myself with something fun and tasty — this tastes elegant and luxurious.” — Cedric H.
“the flavor is divine.” — Brian F.
★★★★★ · rated 5/5 across 30+ reviews
the granny guarantee
drink one. if it’s not for you, email us and get your money back — keep the rest, gift them to a friend, pour one out for your ex. no risk. that’s how sure we are.
THE FIRST RUN IS HERE.
the sixty founding packs are claimed and the first chapter is sealed. the soda goes on — first-run cans are here and shipping now.
the founding sixty wrote their names into the first chapter — the permanent record of who was here first. that record never reopens.
you’re in the order now.
WHAT YOU GET
☠ first dibs on everything granny makes next.
☠ a secret door to knock on, before the doors open to anyone else.
☠ the monthly dispatch - drops, recipes, lore, sent only to the order.
☠ the founder’s ritual guide - how to drink it like you mean it.
How To Get In
buy a pack and you’re in. no knock required.
find a can in the wild instead? there’s a code under the barcode. enter it at the door (once you find it) and knock. the order lets cans in, not ads.
12 cans · 12 fl oz each · botanical soda · ships within the contiguous us · your cans ship the week of july 21
what's actually in it
ingredients: carbonated water, heartbreak healer concentrate (brewed herbal infusion [filtered water, rose buds, rose hips, orange peel, english lavender, lemon balm, lemongrass, lemon verbena, pink peppercorn], organic cane sugar, apple cider vinegar, vanilla extract, reishi extract, pink himalayan salt, citric acid), lemon juice (from concentrate), organic cane sugar.
per 12 fl oz: 30 calories · 7g sugar · contains 2% juice · vegan · caffeine-free · stevia-free
allergen note: pink peppercorn is related to cashews, pistachios, and mangoes. those with tree nut allergies should use caution.